When I started blogging I wanted to be so light and airy and positive and uplifting, and hopefully I’m achieving that. But also there’s real life. Homes aren’t perfect, rooms aren’t perfectly decorated or clean and organized all the time.
I know this sounds negative, but I don’t want it to be, I want it to be thought provoking. I’m at that next season, where for the most part the kids have scooted out and it’s just me, hubby and the pets, (2 dogs and 2 goats!).
Every day is new, full of possibilities, and adventures, but slowly and insidiously lately my days have been wrapped in emotions, a roller coaster of highs and lows.
Do you have days like this? If you do, then can I give you a cyber-hug.
We get up in the morning because … we have to go to work, eat, clean house, etc.
We do all these things all our lives because we have a need to feed and clothe and house ourselves. But what are we doing for ourselves. Just us. Things that bring us joy?
Do you know what brings you joy?
Joy. Happiness. A contentment on doing a particular task.
Usually we’d say something like our family, friends, home etc., But what about just for you?
It’s all so confusing. What will make the next years fulfilling, exciting, joy-filled and worthy of me. Because it’s time to think ABOUT ME.
What do I like to do?
No idea – and that is scary.
Besides I realize (sadly) that some of the things I might have liked to try my now 60-year-old body is no longer capable of. Mentally, too I’m finding that I can no longer multitask like before. Days where I juggled many balls seem to have evaporated.
So what does that leave me with?
Growing old in a rocking chair.
That would be so easy and in truth the reality of that is tempting. But it is also so sad. Life doesn’t need to be sad. For most of us life is a series of ups and downs and sometimes debilitating, and it would be easy to focus on the bad.
At this stage in my life when I’ve sort of left a major career, hubby is now retired too, it’s kinda scary and the thoughts of what next keep nagging at me. What do I want to do? What will fulfil me for the next 20-30 years?
For most women we put ourselves last for a majority of years. Our children/families/work and home lives come first, our thoughts and needs come in a low pecking order on our lists of must dos.
We’ve hardly stopped all these years to actually consider that. School runs, jobs, home, elderly parents, there was no time for us and if there was, guilt struck at the time we were taking away from our family and everyone else. They all came first. Now don’t get me wrong. I believe that to be absolutely true. They should come first, especially your children. You’ve brought them into this world, and it’s our responsibility to guide them until they leave the nest. Mind you being a parent never ends, the role of guide and listener is still happening even now they’re in their 20s. Maybe that’s a time when we’re needed more so.
However, physically and spatially we now have time, and sometimes if we’re lucky a little bit extra dollars to go round. It’s like moving house to a new neighborhood. The people around us have all changed. We’re used to our fellow co-workers, etc, now they aren’t a part of our everyday lives, so what will fill that gap?
So what if you now, for the first time have to think what you’d like to do – and shock horror, scary stuff – you can’t think of anything. It’s like… so what am I/who am I/ what makes me happy?
Take time to list things you thought you might like to try. Even if it was waaaay back.
Joining a women’s group of some sort
(Thinking about) Getting fit!
Trying new recipes
Travel if I can.
See more of my own country
Learn to crochet
Do I want to start a business? And why would I? I’m 60 years old, it’s kinda time to rest surely?
But does that mean I’m not valuable, not capable of trying. Of course not, but the commitment, the challenge, the effort, time etc, is that what I want now in my life?
When I read blog posts and see the lovely homes and everything just so, that little green devil in me gets loud! I love the rooms, admire the talent, but I am a little bit envious too. I see these vital women working hard to create beautiful homes, lives so full and active and I wonder where my life is taking me and why and how and oh so many questions.
Do you have those too?
As a semi empty nester you think you have so much time, but after years of raising a family and now not needed so much, it’s more about what’s next. What do I fill my life with now?
One thing I think we must be thankful for as we age is that we are able to actually do that. So many can’t Some also don’t have the good health to be able to be as vital as they once were or want to be. Today give those around you who are not as fortunate in this vitality, a hug and compassion and encouragement.
Something I read recently about smiling, inspired me, and made me stop and …well, smile, and be grateful. I also remembered that advert on TV where a person smiles as she passes another in the street, then that person smiles at another going passed in a bus and so on? The smile is contagious. This simple advert makes me smile and I think the knowledge that my smile could benefit someone else’s day, is awesome.
I’m out to find my pot of gold …. My joy, my reason, my fun. And smile!
It may be a business, it may be going to floral art classes or creating a myriad of life experiences and adventures, but it will be mine.
So I choose to turn today’s sense of overwhelm into a positive (hence this post) and smile at everyone from the lady at the bakery as we chuckled about giving in to the chocolate cake and the shop assistant who recognised me at Bed bath and Beyond (oops obviously I’ve been shopping too much).
So stop and smile and be grateful for today. And yep, smile and smile and smile.
And because you can’t stop smiling at this little girl, my first grandchild.